A Revelation

I am not, and I don't think I've ever been, an ideal nor a devout Catholic. I don't go to church regularly, I can't remember the last time I went to confession and for most of my life, I have not seriously thought about my faith. I was brought up Catholic and God's existence and infinite love has always been a given for me. So, God has been, I think, somewhat of an afterthought for a lot of my life.

Recently, I've been thinking and reflecting a lot more on my faith and the place that God had in my life. And surprisingly, I had a revelation where I truly felt that God had spoken and called for me... and I heeded the call. And I'm excited about this turning point in my life and I would like to share it because it has been a truly altering experience.

I will warn everyone that it is long and it may be even uncomfortable to some. But I will not apologize for it because this is how God showed Himself to me and I am in awe for it.

I am so thankful for what I have been given, my Lord. That You have shown me a path to find my way to You. I’m sorry for being the kind of Christian that sees You, wants You and needs You only when it is convenient to me. I’m sorry for tucking You away and willingly turning aside. But You love me, and You refuse to let me fall away. You brought me back to You, You found a way to make me see. And I am humbled by Your love and I am humbled by Your forgiveness.

Please Lord, help me be the kind of Christian that sees You in all that I do. Lead me in living my life fully in Your name, Your love, Your grace. Help me to accept You in all aspects of my life, help me realize that Your Word is the rule, Your Truth is the ONLY truth. Provide with me a fraction of the infinite forgiveness You have always shown me. Help me realize that my faith in You will always be my pillar, will always give me strength, will always be the love that will last for all eternity. Let me live in a way that pleases and worships You.

Forgive me for all my faults and shortcomings. Forgive me for being too harsh to judge, forgive me for being too quick to anger. Help me see when I have turned away from Your path. You are the Almighty, You are the reason for everything, You are the meaning behind all things. I am grateful and in awe of Your infinite love, compassion, forgiveness and grace. I know I’m not worthy of all I ask, but I pray that you can provide me with your grace and give me what I do not fully deserve.

Thank you for everyone you’ve sent into my life, who has inspired, strengthen and made me grow in my faith in You. Thank you for opening my heart to seeing who You truly are. Thank you for the numerous discussions that challenge me, soothe me, and leave me with a better understanding of you. I have travelled on this long path, to You Lord, for many years, even though I’ve fallen and stumbled along the way. I pray that when I fall, and I know I will because it is Your will that I do fall, that You will help me let You pick me up. This path is long and demanding, but in the end, if it is not a path of hardship, of tough decisions, of challenges, then it is not the path to You.

I’m uncertain Lord, of where You want me to go. I’m uncertain of where to share my renewed faith and love for You. I’m uncertain of where exactly this path takes me. But I will not be afraid. I place my entire faith in You, that You will show me the way that I need to live, the place I need to be. I will learn it soon enough, whenever You are willing to reveal Your plans to me.

I wait faithfully.